Saturday, July 11, 2015

March 14, 1916 To July 11, 2014

Mom died a year ago today.

What can I say about her? At once, I think of all the funny stories, and the one magnificent story about swimming with dolphins, that she used to tell. I also think of the spiritual differences between us. Mostly, I think about how carefully she guarded her privacy, and I wonder if I should continue guarding her privacy even now. Extending such protection requires that I also restrict what I write about my own life and my emotional responses to her death.

All week, I'd planned to write about her today, even though I wasn't at all sure what I'd write. So I'll share the few photos I have of her and me together.
To say I miss her sounds terribly trite, and yet I can't help but say the obvious. I miss her dry humor, and her outbursts of playfulness. I miss calling her when I need comfort, and I miss the way she loved and respected John. My mom knew how to make my friends feel welcome in her home,  caring for them almost as if they also belonged to her. She laughed often, even at herself, and she loved deeply.

She stayed active with the Widowed Persons Association of  California, even taking cruises with them and (at age 92) serving as the president of her local chapter. She also played bocce ball, up to a few months before she died, with a seniors group called the Goldenairres.  She once told me and a friend, "I've lived a good and happy life." I'm so glad she made sure she enjoyed her 98 years.

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