Monday, March 9, 2015

Unnecessary Self-Analysis

The Lord, for reasons known only to Him, kept me single until a month before my 49th birthday. His decision  troubled me greatly, to say the least.

During those anguished years of singleness, "Christian psychology" made its way into the church I'd joined. Consequently, I felt compelled to analyze my desire to marry, much as my friends tried to analyze  their same sex attractions.  Borrowing from Love In Action's use of psychological models, I reasoned that uncovering the underlying cause of my longing for a husband would unlock ways that Jesus could directly provide me with romantic fulfillment.

You may have guessed that my quest never yielded the answers I sought. I struggled with enormous self-condemnation because Jesus didn't satisfy me. So of  course  I then searched for explanations regarding my apparent resistance to Him. I read countless "Christian" books on co-dependency, emotional dependency, inner  healing, and all sorts of other psychological blocks to "receiving God's love." But my  desire for marriage stubbornly remained.

Looking back, I easily see that romantic fulfillment was an idol. Mercifully, the Lord did eventually bless me with a marriage far beyond my expectations, for which I praise Him. But what if He hadn't?

Scripture says that God  created us for His pleasure and purposes, not so that He could cater to our "felt needs."
“Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
    to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
    and by your will they existed and were created.” ~~Revelation 4:11 (ESV)
The King James Version says "and for thy pleasure they are created." So, while my marriage extends happiness as a wonderful by-product, the Lord actually brought it about to glorify Himself. If He had chosen to keep me single, He would have also done that for His glory. My emotional gratification really matters little in comparison to how He chooses to glorify Himself through me.

"Christian" psychology, by offering non-existent answers to questions we have no business asking in the first place, subtly shifts God into the role of our Servant. Even though He does graciously bless us, we must break out of our insidious attitude that He has an obligation to fulfill us emotionally. We exist to please Him, and we can rejoice that He takes pleasure in us.

1 comment:

  1. For many years I sought a relationship....with God....but wanted it on my terms. God lovingly and graciously granted me a relationship with Him, but He brought it about in such a way that I knew it was His doing, not mine, and it was on His terms, not mine. I can see why Paul (and the Lord)used the marriage model to exemplify our relationship with Him ;) what a blessing you have in John...and in Jesus!

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Thank you for taking the time to read my blog post! I'd love feedback, as long as you attach a name. Disagreement is fine, as long as it is presented respectfully. Please keep comments confined to a maximum of four short paragraphs. Sorry for making to do the Word Verification, but I've been getting too much spam.

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